There are no words adequate to the loss of a baby. Whether your child was stillborn, lived only briefly, or passed away in infancy, the grief you are carrying right now is profound — and entirely your own. This guide has been written with the deepest care, to offer gentle, practical information when you need it most. You do not need to read it all at once. Come back to it when you are ready.
You Are Not Alone: How Common Is Baby Loss?
Every year in the UK, around 2,600 babies are stillborn — that is roughly one in every 250 births. Thousands more families experience the loss of a baby in the neonatal period (within the first 28 days of life) or during infancy. Despite how isolating grief can feel, many families have walked this path before you, and a wealth of compassionate support exists to walk alongside you.
Immediate Steps After a Stillbirth or Baby Loss
In the immediate aftermath of losing a baby, hospital staff will guide you through the first practical steps. You do not need to make any decisions quickly. Most hospitals have a dedicated bereavement midwife or bereavement support team whose sole role is to support families like yours.
Staying With Your Baby
You have every right to spend as much time as you need with your baby. Many hospitals have cold cuddle cots — specially designed bassinets that gently cool the air around your baby, allowing you to keep them with you for longer. Your bereavement midwife can arrange this. Holding, bathing, dressing, and photographing your baby are all ways parents find comfort, and there is no right or wrong way to say goodbye.
Memory Making in Hospital
Before you leave the hospital, staff can help you create memories that you will treasure. These may include:
- Hand and footprints or casts
- A lock of hair
- Photographs — many hospitals work with volunteer organisations such as Remember My Baby, who provide free professional photography
- Your baby's hospital tag, blanket, or hat
- A memory box — many hospitals prepare these as a gift
If you did not receive these things at the time and wish you had, it is worth contacting your hospital's bereavement team. In some cases, it may still be possible.
Registering a Stillbirth in the UK
In England and Wales, a baby is legally defined as stillborn if they are born after 24 completed weeks of pregnancy showing no signs of life. Scotland uses the same threshold. Babies born before 24 weeks are classified as a miscarriage under UK law, though they are no less a loss.
How to Register a Stillbirth
A stillbirth must be registered within 42 days in England and Wales (21 days in Scotland). The process involves:
- Obtaining a Certificate of Stillbirth from the hospital or attending doctor
- Visiting your local Register Office — you can usually do this in person or, in some areas, at the hospital itself
- Receiving a Certificate of Registration of Stillbirth, which you will need to arrange the funeral
Your bereavement midwife or the hospital's administrative team can help you navigate this. You do not have to do it alone.
What About Babies Born Before 24 Weeks?
There is no legal requirement to register a baby lost before 24 weeks, and no legal obligation to arrange a formal funeral. However, many hospitals offer a certificate of recognition to acknowledge your baby's existence, and funeral directors can — and often will — arrange a dignified farewell if that is what you wish. Your feelings and your choices are entirely valid.
Arranging a Baby Funeral
When you feel ready to think about a funeral, please know that the majority of NAFD-accredited funeral directors offer baby and infant funerals with great sensitivity — and many do so entirely free of charge or at significantly reduced cost.
Do Funeral Directors Charge for Baby Funerals?
Many funeral directors across the UK offer their professional services free of charge for babies and young children, recognising that no family should face financial burden on top of the deepest grief. The NAFD and its members are deeply committed to this. It is always worth asking directly — an NAFD member funeral director will never leave you uncertain about what costs, if any, are involved.
Even where some fees apply, local councils and crematoria in many areas also waive their burial and cremation fees for babies and infants. Your funeral director will know exactly what applies in your area. You can find a compassionate NAFD funeral director near you here.
Burial or Cremation for a Baby?
There is no right or wrong choice. Both are equally dignified, and both allow for meaningful ceremony. Here is what each involves:
Burial
- Your baby will have a dedicated grave, which can become a place of remembrance and comfort
- Many councils have dedicated children's sections of cemeteries, often beautifully maintained
- You may choose to personalise the grave over time with a memorial stone, flowers, or keepsakes
- Some families choose a natural or woodland burial for its gentle, peaceful quality
Cremation
- You will receive your baby's ashes, which can be kept, scattered in a meaningful place, or interred
- Because babies are so small, it is important to know that the amount of ashes returned may be very small — your funeral director will explain this honestly before you decide
- Some crematoria have dedicated infant services and memorial gardens
Types of Baby Funeral Service
The funeral can be as simple or as personal as you wish. Some families hold a short, private graveside ceremony. Others choose a fuller service at a church, chapel, or natural setting, with music, readings, and words that reflect their baby's short but precious life. There are no rules — only what feels right for you and your family.
Your funeral director will take the time to understand your wishes, your faith or beliefs, and any cultural traditions that are important to you. An NAFD-accredited funeral director is trained to handle these arrangements with sensitivity and without judgement.
Naming Your Baby
If you have not already chosen a name, or if you are uncertain, there is no pressure. Many parents find comfort in giving their baby a name before or at the funeral. It is entirely your decision.
Memory Boxes and Keepsakes
Tangible memories of your baby can become incredibly precious in the weeks, months, and years ahead. In addition to what the hospital may have provided, organisations such as SANDS (the Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Society) provide memory boxes to bereaved families. These may contain items to help you create lasting mementos — including ink pads for prints, a journal, and guidance for family and friends.
Some families also choose to commission a piece of jewellery or a memorial artwork using their baby's fingerprint or a lock of hair. Your funeral director may be able to suggest local craftspeople who specialise in this.
Parental Bereavement Leave and Pay
Since 2020, UK law has entitled employed parents to Parental Bereavement Leave following the loss of a child under 18, or a stillbirth after 24 weeks of pregnancy. As of 2026, this entitles you to:
- Two weeks' leave, which can be taken as a single block or in two separate weeks
- Statutory Parental Bereavement Pay (if you meet the qualifying criteria), currently aligned with other statutory parental pay rates
You do not need to give advance notice to take this leave. Your employer should handle your request with sensitivity — if you experience any difficulties, organisations such as Child Bereavement UK offer workplace support resources.
Support Organisations for Bereaved Parents
Grief after baby loss is unlike almost any other. The support of people who truly understand — including other bereaved parents — can be life-changing. These organisations exist specifically for families like yours:
SANDS (Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Society)
SANDS is the UK's leading baby loss charity. They offer a free helpline (0808 164 3332), an online community, local support groups, and the SANDS app, which connects you with other bereaved parents at any hour. They also fund vital research into the causes of stillbirth and neonatal death.
Tommy's
Tommy's funds research into stillbirth, miscarriage, and premature birth, and offers information and emotional support to families. Their website includes dedicated sections for parents who have experienced a loss at every stage of pregnancy and beyond.
Child Bereavement UK
Child Bereavement UK supports both families who have lost a child at any age and children who have been bereaved. They offer a helpline (0800 02 888 40), online resources, and face-to-face support through their national network of services. Their guidance for employers and schools is particularly valuable as you begin to navigate life after loss.
The Lullaby Trust
If your baby died suddenly and unexpectedly, The Lullaby Trust offers specialist bereavement support for families affected by sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) and other unexpected infant deaths.
MisBabyLoss (formerly The Miscarriage Association)
For losses earlier in pregnancy, the Miscarriage Association offers compassionate support and information, including for those who have experienced recurrent loss or a late miscarriage.
Supporting Siblings and Other Family Members
If you have other children, they will need support too. Children grieve differently from adults, and they need honest, age-appropriate explanations. Child Bereavement UK has excellent resources for helping children understand the loss of a baby sibling. Grandparents and other family members will also be grieving — and may feel uncertain how to support you while carrying their own loss. Gentle communication, and pointing them towards SANDS or Child Bereavement UK, can help.
In the Weeks and Months Ahead
There is no timeline for grief. The weeks after a baby's funeral can sometimes feel harder, not easier, as the immediate support of family and friends naturally recedes. Please know that your feelings — however they change, however complicated they become — are valid. Many bereaved parents find that anniversaries, due dates, and occasions such as Baby Loss Awareness Week (held each October) become important moments to acknowledge their baby and connect with other families.
If you are struggling with your mental health, please speak to your GP. Specialist perinatal bereavement counselling is available in many areas, and your GP can refer you or help you access support.
Finding the Right Funeral Director
When you are ready to take the next step in arranging your baby's funeral, choosing a funeral director you can trust matters enormously. NAFD-accredited funeral directors are bound by a rigorous Code of Practice and are independently monitored — so you can be certain of compassionate, professional care. Many have specific experience in baby and infant funerals, and will guide you gently through every decision at your own pace.
Find a compassionate, NAFD-accredited funeral director near you — and please do reach out to one of the support organisations above whenever you need to. You do not have to carry this alone.
