Losing someone you love is one of the hardest things any of us will ever face. When it comes to the funeral, understanding what will happen — step by step — can bring real comfort. If you or your family have chosen a burial, this guide is here to gently walk you through everything: from the service itself to what happens at the graveside, how to choose a burial plot, when you can place a headstone, and what it all costs.
There are no rigid rules, and every burial can be shaped to reflect the person who has died. But knowing what to expect means you can be fully present on the day, rather than wondering what comes next.
What Is a Burial Service?
A burial service is the ceremony that takes place when a person's coffin or casket is interred — buried — in the ground. In the UK, burials typically follow one of two formats:
- A full funeral service followed by a graveside committal — the most common arrangement. The main service takes place in a church, chapel, or other venue, and mourners then travel to the graveside for a shorter committal ceremony.
- A graveside-only service — the entire ceremony takes place at the graveside. This can be deeply personal and intimate, and is often chosen for direct burials, green burials, or where families prefer simplicity.
Both are entirely valid. An NAFD-accredited funeral director can help you decide which format best honours your loved one and suits your family's wishes.
The Funeral Service Before the Burial
If you're holding a service before the burial, this usually takes place at a church, a funeral home's chapel of rest, a secular venue, or a cemetery's own chapel. It typically lasts between 30 and 60 minutes and may include:
- Readings — religious scripture, poetry, or personal pieces
- Hymns or music — chosen to reflect the person's tastes and beliefs
- A eulogy or tribute — delivered by a family member, friend, or officiant
- Prayers or moments of reflection
- A committal — often the officiant's formal words acknowledging the death before the burial
After the service, the coffin is carried — either by funeral bearers or family pallbearers — to the hearse, which leads the procession to the graveside.
What Happens at the Graveside?
The graveside service is the final, deeply moving part of the burial. Here is what typically happens:
Arrival at the Graveside
The hearse arrives at the graveside and the coffin is carried — by funeral bearers or pallbearers — to the prepared grave. Mourners gather around the grave. In most UK cemeteries, the grave will have been prepared in advance by the cemetery staff, and may be lined with grass mats or boards to keep the area tidy and dignified.
The Committal
The officiant — a vicar, priest, celebrant, civil funeral celebrant, or humanist — leads the graveside committal. This is usually brief (5–15 minutes) and involves:
- Words of committal — the formal farewell, such as the traditional Christian words "We commit his/her body to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust"
- A short reading or prayer, if desired
- A moment of silence
Lowering the Coffin
One of the most profound moments of any burial is when the coffin is gently lowered into the ground. Funeral directors use strong webbing straps to lower the coffin slowly and carefully. This moment is handled with the utmost care and respect. It is entirely natural to feel a wave of emotion here — this physical act of farewell is, for many, the most significant moment of the entire day.
Throwing Earth
Many families choose to throw a handful of earth — or soil — onto the coffin as a final act of farewell. This is a deeply symbolic gesture with roots in many religious and cultural traditions. Some families sprinkle flower petals, place a single stem, or pour a small amount of sand. Your funeral director can guide you on this if you're unsure what feels right.
Children are very welcome to participate in this if they wish to, and it can actually help young ones process the reality of death in a gentle, meaningful way. No one should ever feel pressured to take part — it is always a personal choice.
After the Committal
Once the committal is complete, mourners are usually invited to view and place any floral tributes at the graveside. Many families take a quiet moment at the grave before moving on to the wake or reception.
Cemetery staff will fill in the grave after mourners have left. Flowers and tributes are typically left in place for a period of time before the cemetery tidies the plot.
Who Can Attend a Burial?
There are no legal restrictions on how many people can attend a burial in the UK, and no formal invitation process is required. A burial in a public cemetery or churchyard is, in principle, open to all who wish to pay their respects.
In practice, the graveside area at some cemeteries may naturally limit the number of people who can gather closely. If you're expecting a large number of mourners, it's worth speaking to your funeral director and the cemetery in advance to make sure the arrangements can accommodate everyone comfortably.
Children of any age may attend. Many families find that including children helps them grieve and say goodbye properly. If you are concerned about how a particular child might respond, speaking to a bereavement counsellor beforehand can be very helpful.
Choosing a Burial Plot
Choosing where your loved one will be buried is one of the most significant decisions you will make. In the UK, there are several types of burial ground to consider:
Municipal (Local Authority) Cemeteries
Most towns and cities have a local authority-run cemetery. These offer a range of plots — from standard graves to family vaults — and are generally the most affordable option. Contact your local council's bereavement services department to enquire about availability and costs.
Church and Churchyard Burials
Burial in a Church of England churchyard is a legal right for parishioners of that parish. However, many historic churchyards in the UK are now full. It is worth contacting the local church directly. Roman Catholic and other denominational cemeteries are also available in many areas.
Private and Green Burial Sites
There are now more than 270 natural or green burial grounds across the UK, where coffins or shrouds are made of biodegradable materials and no headstones are permitted — instead, a tree or wildflower meadow may mark the spot. These are increasingly popular as a gentle, eco-conscious choice.
Exclusive Right of Burial
When you purchase a burial plot, you are usually purchasing the exclusive right of burial — the right to determine who is interred there. This is typically granted for a fixed term (commonly 25–100 years), after which it may need to be renewed. You do not own the land itself.
Your funeral director can help you understand the options available in your local area.
How Much Does a Burial Plot Cost?
Burial plot costs vary significantly across the UK. As of 2026, typical costs include:
- Local authority cemetery plot: £500–£2,000+ for residents; significantly more for non-residents (some London boroughs charge upwards of £5,000 for a new grave)
- Church of England churchyard burial: There are set fees, though surcharges may apply for those outside the parish
- Green burial ground: £700–£1,500 typically, including the tree or planting
- Private cemetery: £1,000–£4,000+, depending on location and plot type
These costs are separate from the funeral director's fees and any fees for the officiant or cemetery chapel. Use our funeral cost calculator to get a clearer picture of the total costs involved in arranging a burial.
It's important to ask for an itemised quote — any reputable, NAFD-accredited funeral director is required to provide a clear, written estimate before any work begins.
Headstones: When Can You Place One?
A headstone (also called a gravestone or memorial) cannot usually be placed immediately after a burial. The ground needs time to settle — typically 6–12 months — before a permanent memorial can be installed safely. Placing a stone too early can result in it sinking or leaning as the disturbed earth compresses.
In the meantime, many families place a temporary wooden marker or a simple vase with fresh flowers.
Rules and Permissions
Every cemetery and churchyard has its own regulations about the size, shape, material, and wording of headstones. Church of England churchyards, in particular, have a set of approved designs and materials, and a faculty (formal permission) may be required. Always check with the cemetery or churchyard authority before ordering a memorial.
Choosing a Headstone
A headstone is a lasting tribute, and it's worth taking time over the decision. Key considerations include:
- Material — granite, marble, slate, and Portland stone are all popular choices
- Inscriptions — name, dates, a short epitaph, or a personal verse
- Religious or symbolic imagery
- Photographs etched in stone (permitted at some but not all cemeteries)
Always use a reputable memorial mason, ideally one registered with the National Association of Memorial Masons (NAMM).
Reopening a Grave for a Family Burial
If your family holds the exclusive right of burial in an existing grave, it may be possible to inter another family member in the same plot — known as reopening a grave. This is a common choice and can be a great comfort to families who wish to be laid to rest together.
The process involves:
- Confirming that the exclusive right of burial is still valid and belongs to the family
- Checking that there is sufficient depth in the grave for another burial (cemeteries have rules on minimum depth between coffins)
- Applying to the cemetery authority for permission to reopen the grave
- Paying any applicable fees for the reopening and additional interment
Your funeral director will manage this process on your behalf and liaise directly with the cemetery. If a headstone is already in place, it will need to be temporarily removed and then re-erected — this is handled by a memorial mason and incurs an additional cost.
How an NAFD Funeral Director Can Help
Arranging a burial involves many moving parts — liaising with the cemetery, organising the officiant, coordinating pallbearers, managing paperwork, and ensuring the day runs with quiet dignity. An NAFD-accredited funeral director will guide your family through every step with compassion and professionalism.
All NAFD member funeral homes are bound by a strict Code of Practice, undergo regular inspections, and are backed by an independent Funeral Arbitration Scheme — so you can trust that you are in safe, caring hands during one of life's most difficult moments.
Find an NAFD-accredited funeral director near you to begin making arrangements, or simply to ask questions. There is no obligation, and a good funeral director will always be happy to talk things through at your own pace.
